So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
