dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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