Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
