So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I skipped work to stalk him.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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