who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
