doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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