There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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