Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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