Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
