even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You are a genius and a whore.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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