i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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