yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize