Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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