Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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