I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
