One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
