I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
