I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
we should paint friendship bongs
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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