I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I want to fling myself into the sun
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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