Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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