Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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