hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want to walk on stilts...naked
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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