I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Randomize