pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize