I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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