I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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