I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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