I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
