She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize