o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
