No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have fence marks all over my body
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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