Your face is a jimmy john
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
