cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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