He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize