Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
