please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
