That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize