chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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