is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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