I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
