i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
