At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize