just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize