Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
