I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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