Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Randomize
