two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
