things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
