Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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