Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This is my gift to your gina
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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