Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
