Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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