I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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