I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
