I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize