I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
