Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
