I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
