I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
