Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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