Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
