Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
