I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize