"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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